Go Unf*ck Yourself

a picture that screams amber elise jones moodiness, taken by my friend Simone Schroeder

Believe it or not, this is my mother's new favorite phrase.

I'm the queen of getting stuck. From the outside, life is going well for me – I'm a young, college educated woman living in New York, making money working a full-time job in a hip office. I have a tight-knit group of close girlfriends and a wider net of people who I enjoy spending my free time with. We frequent nice restaurants for a bi-weekly "girl's din," command dancefloors and block out the world around us because we're too busy livin' it up for the '99 and 2000s, travel from city to city and country to country "just because," and attend a variety of events that suit our trillions of interests. All of these things are great, and I'm fortunate to be surrounded by love, support and opportunity... But I've had this consistent issue of never fully being satisfied. And that's the one thing that has gotten me into some unfortunate situations in different arenas of my existence.

To avoid sounding ungrateful and just outright bratty, I tend to keep in a lot of my frustrations when it comes to what I desire to do in life. I'm a Pisces, so I'm extremely passionate and emotional, but the issue I have is that I have a problem placing that fire into something truly meaningful. I find myself feeling like a rock, unable to be moved in the worst ways and all the negativity just washes over me. After weeks of bottling shit in, everything starts to become affected – my attitude towards really anything, my social skills, my motivation... the list goes on. Then I ask myself, why the hell do I even feel this way? It's really uncool to make yourself into a victim when the world owes nothing to you unless you force your hand and making shit great.

I turn to my mother for advice on the constant. She's the only person who I feel truly comfortable with sharing every little detail, big or small, stupid or not. She (obviously) birthed me, so there's a major connection between us that I've been lucky to keep up with and grow as I've gotten older. We've developed a friendship, and when I have a problem or need guidance, I know she's the one who can lead me on the right path to make knowledgable decisions.

Through her stories of life growing up, she's taught me to put things in their proper perspective. I find that the ways that she and I are similar, so am I and millions of other people out here. We all have struggles and we have low points that we need to work through, but with the blessings that have come my way, I can get myself out of whatever dramatic hole I'm in through communication, risk, and creativity. The ways to cope vary from person to person, and I'm lucky, I know... which is why I continue to work hard to use what makes me unhappy and turn it into something that will hopefully help someone else who may need help finding their spark. We all know that there's a ton of just wild shit going on across the world, but what I've learned is that you don't want to wait until something hits too close to home to make a change in your attitude towards life.

Whether that's doing activities that calm you down like yoga, or taking yourself out to dinner, or going on a solo trip, or just being methodical and evaluating your being and the choices that shape it on a line-by-line basis, I'm a firm believer that only you can pull yourself out our your dark well. And once you get your own shit together, the way you move in the world will also improve. Stay vigilant with your passions, but don't let them be your downfall. So go unfuck yourself, why don't you?


Amber Elise Jones, @reggaedude_fan